Planning a wedding, never mind one overseas, is a Mount Olympus–sized feat. Not only because of the sheer volume of logistics involved, or the ever-rising costs, but because of the weight of expectation that surrounds it. Many people grow up imagining their wedding day, and why wouldn’t they? In theory, it’s a celebration centered on you and your partner in a beautiful setting, surrounded by those you love most. In practice, however, wedding planning can quickly become something else entirely. What begins as an intimate vision can swell into something far larger, and far more complicated, than originally intended.
As Hotels Above Par’s new Destination Wedding Editor, and as someone currently planning my own destination wedding in Ireland, I know this all too well. So, I’ll be using this space each month to document the journey from proposal to honeymoon, and everything in between. Along the way, I’ll share what I’m learning in real time, with the hope of making the path a little clearer for anyone considering a destination wedding of their own.
In this first installment, I’ll explore why couples choose destination weddings in the first place, and how to think thoughtfully about selecting the right location to begin your search.
Why Choose a Destination Wedding
In recent years, more couples have chosen to take their weddings abroad. For many, myself included, part of the decision to jetset comes down to return on investment, particularly as domestic venue costs continue to rise.
I saw this clearly years ago the first time I helped a friend evaluate wedding venues across the mid-Atlantic. Her venue spreadsheet spanned options in upstate New York, New York City, Washington, D.C., Virginia, the Outer Banks, and Maryland. Venue costs reached upwards of $20,000 just for the access to say “I do,” and didn’t include food and beverage or guest accommodations, and this was several years ago.
By contrast, many overseas venues, particularly in Europe, structure weddings differently. Venue fees are often lower or bundled into room buyouts. Multi-day celebrations are the norm rather than the exception, and while the overall spend can be comparable, the value proposition feels fundamentally different.
For me, as a travel writer with family overseas, the idea of hosting a destination wedding felt intuitive. For others, the decision might not be as simple, and destination weddings definitely come with real trade-offs. They often mean a smaller guest list, particularly when most family and friends are stateside. For some couples, that natural narrowing feels like a relief, while, for others, it requires careful consideration.
A destination wedding forces clarity in a way a local one often doesn’t. The guest list naturally edits itself to those who are truly able and eager to be there, but can also be cost-prohibitive, which is something for you and your partner to think about.
The Non-Negotiables That Immediately Shaped Our Search
If the above sounds great to you, and you’re ready to begin thinking more about the ‘where’ rather than the ‘if,’ take into consideration the following: your and your partner’s non-negotiables. That might mean thinking about who would be attending your wedding and their restrictions, whether you feel comfortable getting married in a country where you don’t speak the local language, flight length to get to a particular destination, and what a destination’s particular wedding infrastructure looks like.
Begin by sitting down together and writing out your destination non-negotiables. Even a small amount of preliminary research can quickly bring a surprising amount of clarity.
For us, that meant prioritizing destinations that encouraged guests to stay for several days, rather than just fly in for the wedding. We also wanted a place we’d be happy to linger in after the wedding for a mini moon. Just as important was the ability for guests to stay largely on property, or within easy walking distance, so we looked for destinations with venues that match that desire.
And don’t forget about food and drink: something that can shift the vibe of your wedding, and an aspect guests often remember after the fact. Most importantly, you should both get excited thinking about the potential of what a particular destination can provide you in terms of cuisine and drinking culture. Do you both crave Mexican food and spicy margaritas on date night, or love long Italian family-style meals? Perhaps think back on trips you’ve taken together during which you couldn’t get enough of the local fare.
Thinking About What Romance Means to You and Your Partner
Finally, the underpinning of it all: the romance. Before choosing a destination, my partner and I realized we needed to define what romance actually looks like for us. This turned out to be one of the most useful exercises in the initial planning process, because it stripped away outside expectations, ruled out a bunch of popular destinations, and made decisions faster.
A helpful place to start is by looking at how you already spend meaningful time together while traveling. Do you gravitate toward cities or the countryside? Do you favor slow mornings together or full itineraries? The destination that feels romantic to you is often one that mirrors how you travel and relax in real life.
Another way to think about it is through mood boarding. Have yourself and your partner pick some photos from Pinterest or elsewhere that you think feels highly romantic. Not wedding content, but pure destination content. That might end up looking like sunny afternoons in the French countryside, exploring historic ruins in South America, or, in my own case, a moody castle in Ireland.
The enduring beauty of weddings is that each one looks and feels entirely unique, regardless of trends, and the first way yours begins to take its own shape is in choosing a destination that is truly right for you both.Whether that place is tied to heritage or simply to instinct matters less than how it feels. When the destination is right, much of the rest falls into place. Next month, I’ll turn to the next step: narrowing the search to the venue that brings it all to life.
Ireland
